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Man Uses Old DSLR camera at Youth Soccer Match, Nearly Hurts Someone


A local man brought an old DSLR to a youth soccer match and put tens of people at risk with the old technology. As young kids ran about the field chasing the soccer ball, the man repeatedly brought the old DSLR up to his face, each time revealing the advanced age of his camera and risking the sensibilities of the parents around him.

Sunil Johnson, an eyewitness to the near calamity, tells his story…“I was there watching my son, Raj on the field play. Raj, by the way, is a very good player. He’s only seven but we think that he will either be a professional soccer player or a doctor. Anyway, I was taking photos with my brand new Leica M Monocrom, when I spotted him out of the corner of my eye, shooting repeatedly with his old camera. I thought to myself, ‘My god man! Don’t you have any self respect?!’ I did my best to place my body between him and the other parents on the sidelines protecting others from what was unfolding before me. But there was nothing I could do to protect the little children on the field. The children!”

Anna Bessa, a mother from the other team, saw what was transpiring on the other sideline and put on her sunglasses and shielded her eyes. “Sunil Johnson is a hero. He saved tens of people from possible harm and long term psychological damage. We need stricter camera control, but until that happens and as long as there are old cameras out in the wild, we need more Sunil Johnsons in the world.”

Adam Smith, spokesperson for the Association for New Cameras (ANC), said, “Many people don’t realize the grievous harm that they can inflict on people when they use older cameras. Low megapickles, blurriness, chromatic aberrations, sensor noise, etc….These are all problems with older cameras, and we hate to see people capturing life’s most precious moments with these issues. Imagine poor Johnny, whose dad used an old camera. Years from now, when he looks at his childhood photos, he’ll see these flaws and think to himself, ‘If my parents had used a new camera, maybe I would not have turned into a serial killer.’”

Borough officials are considering a ban on all old cameras, with strict penalties and potential jail time for offenders.

The camera in question, a Pentax K-5, was well-regarded in it’s time but has since been eclipsed by at least a hundred new cameras (and a number of smart phones) in terms of megapickles and sheer newness. To put some historical perspective on this, the K-5 was introduced in 2010, back when the iPhone 4 was the latest smartphone and a new thing call the “iPad” was released. At this point, so many years later, the K-5 does not have class-leading anything.




  1. What is this?

    I am not english speaking so I might not pick up on irony in the english language. Is this some kind of joke or is this serious ? If serious I have to say that this site is put into my ban folder…

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