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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: NCN is proud to announce that we’ve inked a unique deal with Canon. Yes, Canon. The deal is unique in the otherwise staid camera industry and is sure to spawn a number of copycats. As part of the deal, Canon will develop fake products along with marketing materials for those products. NCN will report on those products as if they were real.

Canon said, “We really enjoy a good laugh, and we enjoy NCN, so we thought that we’d pitch in and pretend to launch fake products that NCN can report on. Following the NCN model, the products will be so ridiculously unbelievable that you can’t but shake your head in disbelief. We’re happy to play the big, dumb, lumbering, tone deaf monolith to NCN’s smart alecky upstart. It’s all about the comedy after all, isn’t it? Right?”

CanonMcCartney21074x483

“Our first collaboration will be a white, ivory, and silver camera bag that we’ll say was designed by Stella McCartney for Canon. How funny would that be!? Won’t that make the owner’s of 5DIIIs irate that we’re spending time on something so ridiculous, that we’re spending time on handbags instead of a new sensor for the 5D Mark IV!? But wait! In the product shots we’ll also have a white EOS 100D! People will think that Canon has completely lost its mind and lost touch with what photographers in 2014 want. We’ll play the embarrassing uncle that still thinks it’s the 90s and listens to Whitney Houston and eats portabella burgers and sun-dried tomatoes. Isn’t that hilarious?”

NCN said, “We’re honored to be recognized by Canon for our important contributions to camera and photography journalism. But we’re not quite sure where they got the idea that NCN is anything less than a serious camera site. NCN looks forward to working with Canon on more ‘fake’ product launches.”

Traveling with camera gear adds a whole level of complexity to trip planning. While some are willing to haul a padded backpack full of cameras, lenses and other detritus (Rocket blowers, lens wipes, ND filters, chargers, backup devices, memory card holders, travel tripods, and so on and so on…) others travel more simply, taking advantage of the huge strides travel cameras have taken in recent years. If you are tired of carrying all that gear just to produce shots that thousands of others have taken from the very same spot you took them, check out the latest in compact cameras. Which is the best? Here are the candidates:

10. Sony QX-1

To be honest, we haven’t used on of these new sensor units yet, but they sure are strange, aren’t they? We suspect that they incorporate alien technology–why else would they be so weird?–which is enough to merit inclusion in this list.

9. Pentax Q-S1

One of the bulkiest cameras in this list, the Q-S1 has, despite it’s large size, has a number of things going for it. For one, it features interchangeable lenses. Two, Champagne Gold. Three, Gunmetal. Four, Kakhi Green. Five. Dusty Blue. And so on.

8. GoPro

The ultimate camera for the adventure traveler, once you buy the waterproof case. No self-respecting mountain biker, snowboarder, motocross rider, or space parachuter would leave home without it.

7. Nokia Lumia 1080

41 Megapickles more than makes up for the fact that this camera runs Windows. In our testing, we didn’t see Clippy once, so that was a relief. Oh yeah, it has a Zeiss logo on it too, which we are guessing means that Zeiss sold Nokia the rights to put their logo on it. As good as it, it’s missing a certain something that number 5 and 4 have.

6. Sony Xperia Z3

You can take this camera into the swimming pool. Try that with the Canon 1D. ‘Nuff said.

5. iPad

For several years, the iPad has been the camera of choice for world travelers. While not entirely compact, it’s thinness allows it to be tucked into places where other cameras won’t fit. An even smaller iPad Mini is also available, it’s primary compromise being a smaller (but still wondrous) electronic viewfinder. Still a good option, it’s been supplanted by our next camera.

4. iPhone 6/iPhone 6+

No travel camera list is complete without the iPhone. All one needs to do is visit the local tourist trap to see what kind of impact the iPhone has had on the compact camera market. The newest kids on the block, the iPhone 6 features a better lens and sensor than ever. And the viewfinder is bigger and even bigger on the phab 6+.And connectivity continues to make the iPhones perfect travel cameras–taking a selfie and posting on Instagram is as easy as one, two, filter, three! Oh, and they make phone calls too.

3. Samsung Galaxy S5

Selfie at the Oscars. Selfies at the White House. Very few cameras have those kinds of credentials.

2. Flip Phone

Yeah, some people still rock these things.

1. Kodak Fun Saver Single Use Camera

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There’s a refreshing minimalism to these fixed focal length, fixed aperture, fixed shutter speed cameras that’s sure to effect your travel photography. With a limited number of exposures, you won’t waste time on food photos and other useless photos that litter Facebook, Instagram, and Flickr. The dual aspherical element 30mm F10 lens projects photons to the only full frame camera in the list.

Winning!

It truly is a golden age of photography with so many high quality options to choose from and so many ways to share. You really can’t go wrong with any camera on this list. But this is a Top 10 list, which means that there has to be losers and just one winner. Ultimately we have to choose the full-frame Kodak Fun Saver Single Use Camera. Because full frame.

 

Available at fine pharmacies and tourist traps everywhere.

The yellow ink is barely dry on the boxes of the new Nikon D750 and people are already reporting problems. As reported by Amateur PhotographerPetapixel, the Nikon D750’s WiFi ships with an unsecure connection, enabling people other than the camera owner to secretly retrieve photos from the camera. Some are calling for Nikon to issue a firmware update that addresses this issue. But Nikon claims that the unsecured WiFi connection is a feature, not a bug.

In an exclusive interview with NCN, Nikon said, “Who are we kidding? It’s 2014, and once a photo taken with the D750 is posted online it is going to get stolen anyway…probably because people are so hungry for the D750’s 24 megapickle full-frame goodness. So somebody else is going to get all the credit while the D750 owner did the hard work of setting up and composing the shot and then processing it.”

“So we thought, why not cut right to the chase? Why not just let people steal the photos right after they are taken? That way, the D750 does not have to go through the trouble of storing thousands of photos on their hard drive, picking one or two special snowflakes to post-process to within an inch of their lives, only to have it stolen within five minutes of posting on Flicker. This is fresh new thinking from our CEO Ashton Kutcher. This is the new Nikon.”

Nikon is currently working on incorporating WiFi in all of their cameras, and setting up a cloud service that will automatically upload everyone’s photos soon after they are taken, strip all rights data from the EXIF, and post them to Flickr, Imgur, NSA, and Bing.

Now that Photokina 2014 is over and the last “Best of Photokina” story has been filed, bloggers around the world are faced with the biggest challenge of their careers–what to write about now?

The hangover was palpable in the hotel bars in Cologne at the end of the show as writers and bloggers, feet sore from miles and miles from walking, cried in their cocktails. Until bloggers get their grubby paws on the new products, they’ve got little more than scraps to write about–firmware updates, in-stock status of cameras, reviews of camera straps, etc…Some writers even started a Change.org petition to turn Photokina into an all-year industry show, with new products introduced daily. Manufacturers blanched at the idea, suggesting that at that pace, we’d see 200 megapickle Pentax Qs by the end of the year.

Bloggers felt honor bound to their feed their audience camera news. “These camera buffs come to our website daily,” said one blogger. “Our web stats show they spend plenty of time on our site, particularly during work hours. How would they get through their otherwise mind-numbing day without a photo of a creepy mannequin, bottle of wine, and fabric samples?”

Steve Stonewall, the most prolific camera blogger in the history of camera blogging, admits that even he is struggling in the wake of Photokina. “After last week’s gearapalooza, this week is proving really challenging,” says Stonewall, “If Sony doesn’t introduce a new camera or new lens mount (let’s not kid ourselves, they’re not going to announce a new lens) in the next 24 hours, I may be forced to write about actual photographs!”

The big news at Fujifilm’s Photokina booth is not the graphite X-T1, nor is it the new 50-140mm F2.8 lens or 140-400mm F4-5.6 mockup zoom lens. The big news is that Fujifilm continues to innovate, jumping into drone photography in their own inimitable way.

Fujifilm shared exclusive patent-pending technology with NCN, asking that we not share this information with anybody, least of all our NCN readers, who Fujifilm says are “without a doubt the most intelligent, articulate, and attractive people in all of photography.”

So here’s the big scoop-Fujifilm is building a drone! Not just one, actually, but two! Fujifilm is serious about this–they see drone photography becoming just as big as selfies and POV videos popularized by GoPro. But unlike current drones, these are not sleek, modern, lightweight, multi-rotor drones favored by denizens of the 21st century.

The high priests of retro, Fujifilm understand more than anyone that photography should be slow and measured, not buzzing, whirring, and frenetic. Thus the Fujifilm drone will be different, one nearly silent and more deliberate in its pacing and movements, the other a bit more cantankerous, yet still firmly in the retro style.

Here are images taken from Fujifilm’s patent application:

Super Top Secret Fuji Drone Drawing.

Super Top Secret Fuji Drone Drawing.

Super Mega Top Secret Fuji Drone Prototype

Super Mega Top Secret Fuji Drone Prototype

Fujifilm is quite pleased with themselves, approaching a modern trend in a new old way that is unique and uniquely Fujifilm.

Engineers are still working on early prototypes and the production team is already grappling with the challenge of how to ship the drones with the required crew; the dirigible requires a captain and two “sailors” while the steam locomotive drone requires a train driver, fireman, and several miles of track.

 

[Steam train image from Northwest Railway Museum Collection]