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Olympus teases financial reports

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An inside source with Olympus Imaging has revealed to New Camera News that their upcoming financial is going to blow everyone’s minds.

Olympus was on the ropes not too long ago, the result of an accounting scandal that nearly shuttered the company and sent fired CEO Michael Woodford into hiding from the Yakuza in his luxurious London apartment. Olympus, apparently, invested $1.5 billion dollars into shady deals, including a face cream company and another company that made microwave plates.

Since then, Olympus has gutted the executive offices and boardroom, received an investment of nearly $400 million dollars from Sony (about the cost of the face cream company), and released a couple of new Micro Four-Thirds cameras and lenses. Our sources claim that these changes alone has yielded sales in the “millions and millions of units, very nearly a billion!” and transformed the beleaguered camera division from “a money pit into a rock star!”

Furthermore, our source claims that Olympus has been so successful that at the next board meeting, board members will be served unicorn barbecue. Stay tuned to New Camera News as we keep track of this evolving story.

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