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ALERT: Photographers Frantic, Rushing to Finish 2013 Resolutions


Scenic overlooks and picturesque locations around the country are being overrun by photographers frantically trying to complete their 2013 New Year’s Resolutions. Authorities are reporting a crush of photographers in Times Square, New York, Key West, Florida, Seattle’s Space Needle and The Alamo. Also seeing heavy photographic activity are derelict barns, doors with several coats of peeling paint, the foam on Starbucks’ lattes, and anything in the back yard still showing a hint of color.

Stylish, attractive people, foreign nationals wearing non-western clothing, girls with knit hats and thick-rimmed glasses, and cute pets are being advised to stay indoors until this wave of photography subsides. Ugly dogs should not be affected, but exceedingly, unusually ugly dogs  that are so ugly that they are crossing into the rarely seen cute-ugly spectrum should take the necessary precautions. If you must go outside, NCN advises that you wear sunglasses to counteract the glare of fill flash.

This has been a public health message from NCN, protecting cute and picturesque things since the mid 1800s.


  1. Starbucks has reported an unusually high amount of battery chargers plugged into their outlets in the afternoon.

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