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Sony A7/r Causing Strange New Feelings in Pants


The NCN News Team is getting some early reports that the Sony A7 and A7r, the first full frame mirrorless camera systems that don’t require a home equity loan to purchase, are causing strange new feelings in the pants of owners and prospective buyers. Scattered tweets and posts on online forum have caught the eye of the medical community and product safety councils:

  • “Wow, a small full frame camera with interchangeable lenses! I’m feeling light headed.”
  • “Wait, I can use my old 50mm prime as a normal? My heart rate is increating.”
  • “It’s not a retro design? My pants are shrinking.”
  • “I can blur everything but a single eyelash? Woah, I haven’t felt this way since Hedy Lamarr invented Wi-Fi.”

Stay tuned as the NCN News Team investigates this situation further.

If you know anyone that owns the Sony A7 or A7r, let them know of this developing story and by all means avoid listening to Barry White or Meatloaf in their presence.

If you own a Sony A7 or A7r, please use extreme caution. Health officials are recommending loose fitting pants, sweatpants preferably, and avoiding public and social situations until authorities can determine the cause of these reactions. If you use or even look at the Sony A7 or A7r and begin to experience any unusual feelings in your pants, put down the camera or close the browser window immediately. If the situation does not resolve itself in a short while, pick up an hold a crappy point-and-shoot, or think of a Pentax K-01 or Canon EOS-M. If that still doesn’t work, take a cold shower.

The Pentax K-01 has been found to cure any unusual feelings in pants.

The Pentax K-01 has been found to cure any unusual feelings in pants.


There, feel better now?


This has been a public health warning from New Camera News.

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