It’s being called the greatest prank since the 2000 US Presidential Elections. But it’s gone wrong, terribly wrong.
Photographers in Cleveland, Ohio woke up this morning and found that someone had snuck into their camera bags and Krazy Glued kit lenses onto their DSLRs and MILC/ILCs. Nothing was stolen, no cameras, flashes, or fast primes. Some photographers are even reporting that they had no kit lenses prior to having one Crazy Glued onto their camera. NCN had reporters on the scene to speak with victims of this terrible crime.
Arturo Ducati was thinking of selling his Nikon D300 and upgrading to the D610, but now he’s not so sure. “Just look at this!” says Ducati, pointing to the 18-55 kit zoom glued to his trusty camera, “Who’s going to buy this now? I should just throw it away and start over.”
Mortimer Guzzi was a bit less sanguine. “I can’t stop taking pictures. It’s what I was put on this planet to do. But I’ll just have to be more discreet about it, do more solo work of decaying buildings and stuff. I’ll still post on Flickr, but I’ll have to edit the EXIF data so it shows a more respectable constant aperture zoom or prime. And I’ll have to cut out the local camera club of course; I can’t bear to think of what they’d say if they saw me with this kit lens on my camera!”
Emilio Agusta was the most affected of the photographers interviewed. “Oh the shame! I don’t think that I can ever take another picture…not with…THIS!” he exclaimed, pointing to the red 18-55 kit lens attached to his blue Pentax K-50 while tilting his head back and placing the back of his hand on his forehead.
Similar stories are being played out all throughout the greater Cleveland Area. Authorities have set up a helpline to console photographers affected by this terrible tragedy. If you or someone you know has been affected and are thus forced to shoot with apertures smaller than F2.8, please contact authorities. They have certified PTSD counselors standing by.