Still licking their wounds from their stinging defeat in court last November*, staunch defenders of photographer’s rights Agence France Presse (AFP) and Getty Images have filed lawsuits against the country of Haiti, the estate of Charles Richter (inventor of the Richter scale) and Gaia (the primal Greek goddess of Earth) for aiding and abetting photographer Dan Morel in the taking of photos in the aftermath of that horrible, dreadful earthquake that struck Haiti in 2010.
Speaking via phone, and using a device to disguise his voice, a spokesperson for AFP and Getty Images made the following, irony-free statement:
“The facts are incontrovertible, Dan Morel could not have taken the photos that got us into this mess had he not had the cooperation of Haiti, Richter, and Gaia. Each of them played a key role in making that day possible. Yes, it was a bad day for Haiti, but it was a terrible day for AFP and Getty Images; a day that haunts us still.
We’ll even go one step further. We have conclusive proof that had Haiti, Richter, and Gaia not aided and abetted Morel, there was a 99% chance that Morel was going to take photos of cute, furry cats that day in 2010, thus sparing us from this awful mess.
Truth told, we had considered suing Morel’s mom because, when you think about, that’s where it all started. But APF and Getty Images are not the heartless, soulless corporate entities who have lost site of their purpose and mission as the Internet makes my clients out to be.”
When asked if AFP and Getty Images were hoping to bankrupt Morel and by thus doing so silence him, the spokesperson responded, “That’s ridiculous! AFP and Getty Images are the aggrieved here, not Haiti, not Dan Morel. We love photographers and we are sure that the photography community understands and applauds our actions. We invite people to tweet us at @AFP and @GettyImages to show their support. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go; I’m buying a Ferrari today!”
Representatives for Haiti, Richter, and Gaia were not available for comment.
* AFP and Getty Images were found guilty of using Dan Morel’s photograph, distributing it news agencies around the globe, and not giving him credit. Or money. Or respect.
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