[Editor’s Note: I asked my teenage son Josh (that’s him, above, taken several years ago) to post a review of the new Canon G1X Mark II. Here it is!]
Yeah, so my dad asked me to write this review. So here it is. It’s a camera. It says “Canon” on the upper left here and “G1X” on the lower right. Here, on the lens is a whole bunch of gobbledygook letters, “CANON ZOOM LENS 5X IS” and “12.5 minus 62.4mm 1:2.0-3.9.” I have no idea what that stuff means. I think you have to be like a super genius or an algebra whiz to know how to use this camera.
For you younger readers, a camera is a thing that adults use when they don’t have a smartphone or tablet with them. My dad and all of his old friends use them to take pictures of stuff.
Now look at all of these buttons and dials and stuff! It’s not like a phone at all, more like a game controller or something. And hardly none of it’s in English. It’s all some Egyptian code or something.
About the only button in English is the ON/OFF button, so I press it and like it goes all Transformers on me! It’s making whirring and beeping sounds and stuff and this door on the front opens up and then this big cylinder on the front whirs out. I gotta admit, that was kind of cool.
Taking pictures is kind of like taking pictures with a phone but more complicated. That’s what all the buttons are for. You press this button up top to take the picture. You can zoom in and out which is neat; I wish my phone did that. But the touchscreen is tiny-just three inches. That’s even smaller than my sister’s iPhone. Not only that, but I have no idea how to install apps on this thing.
I asked my dad what kind of 4G it had and he said he didn’t know, so he started looking in this big book that came with the phone. It said “User’s Manual” on it and dad says that all consumer electronics used to have a User’s Manual. The thing was so big and in black and white like something in a museum; I’m sure glad that my phone and tablet don’t have anything like that!
After about twenty minutes, my dad said, “It has Wi-Fi.” I say, “so no 4G?” He says, “No. It has NFC though.” Which I guess is cool. My phone has it but I’ve never really used it.So my dad says that this has really fast AF. He says that AF means Auto Focus. So I said, “Ok, let’s have a speed test. Let’s see who can take a picture of Mittens the cat and post the picture on Instagram the fasted. Go!” Dad’s a pretty good sport for an older guy so he turns on the Canon and starts. Meanwhile, I’ve gotta find my phone; it slipped out of my pants and fell between the sofa cushions. So I’m like searching around furiously for it, and my dad’s already taken the picture! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S BEATING ME! But then he’s gotta get his laptop to transfer the photo, and I finally find my phone (along with thirty-seven cents and an old potato chip)! So I fire up my phone, launch Instagram, and my hands are shaking I’m rushing so fast, take a photo of Mittens, add a nice Sutro filter, and post. I WIN!!!!
I do a victory dance while my dad finishes the WiFi transfer, does a little editing, and then he’s mumbling something about “Canon image Gateway….ok…Facebook…Twitter….Flickr….where’s Instagram? INSTAGRAM???!!!” Dad says that the Canon website doesn’t support Instagram yet so he’s gotta make some “adjustments to his workflow”. Huh? I thought we were taking pictures, not launching a rocket ship to the moon ha ha!
Dad says that when writing reviews I should try to be as fair and objective as possible, so here’s a new section:
AS FAIR AND OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE
The Canon G1X is a camera. It is a nice camera. It can take nice pictures. My dad says better pictures than my stupid phone. He’s probably right, since he has so many. He and my mom get into fights about all the cameras he buys.