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MISSING: Four Honda Asimo Robots Disguised as Nikon Executives


Honda is reporting that four of their Asimo robots have gone missing and are seeking information regarding their whereabouts. Last seen in the Yokohama area, the four missing Asimo robots are advanced versions of the Asimo, not the vaguely astronautish Asimii (that’s the plural of Asimo, FYI) that the public is used to seeing.

In a hastily arranged press conference, Honda officials made the following statement:

“The versions of the Asimo that are missing are very special prototypes and we would like to retrieve them as soon as possible. Incorporating advanced mechanics along with synthetic skin, these Asimii are virtually indistinguishable from any number of Japanese company men that frequent the Yokohama area. The Asimii are also loaded with an advanced AI system. When asked even the simplest questions, they can respond in a natural language voice and sound much like media-trained executives at any large multinational company. In other words, if you ask them a question and they respond with a whole lot of words that don’t really add to anything valuable, you may be speaking with one of our Asimo.”

“There is one bug that we found in the programming that may be used to identify the Asimo. If you are speaking to someone and they randomly volunteer that they sleep well at night, you may be speaking to an Asimo. If you suspect that you are speaking to an Asimo, do not attempt to apprehend them yourself; simply offer them batteries while one of your friends contacts authorities.”

The four missing Asimo robots where last seen in the vicinity of the Nikon booth at the recently-completed CP+ industry trade show.

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