Tragedy struck the Jones family of Centerville last night at the dinner table, as daughter Julie said the seven words that all parents dread…”I want to be a professional photographer.”
Once a respectable and even prestigious profession, pro photography has fallen upon hard times as the tools of the trade become cheaper and more accessible to the unwashed masses. Over the last several years, business card printing companies have reported a rise in what they call “hyphenographer” business cards–Accountant/Photographer, Project Manager/Photographer, DBA/Photographer, Waste Management Specialist/Photographer. This flood of new competition has been exacerbated by the fact that many clients have gotten (hard to believe) dumber over the years, relying more upon cheap stock photography and “photos we found on Google, so they must be in the public domain.” The end result is a tough career faced with declining wages and increased competition.
Still in shock from the announcement, Julie’s parents tried to make sense of it all. “We tried so hard to raise her right,” said Julie’s mom. “We always made sure that she studied hard and stayed away from those hippie children that are always being told to ‘follow their dreams,’ and ‘listen to their heart’ and ‘find your spirit animal’ and crap like that.”
“I blame her,” said Julie’s dad as he pointed to Julie’s mom. “She’s the one with the camera habit. She’s the one that bought Julie her first camera. She’s the one that planted the seed of creativity. I wanted her to pick a career with some sort of future, like becoming a nurse. The country is filled with old people that need their diapers changed. How many of them want their photo taken?”
The family is planning to see family counseling to get over the shock of this news, and Julie’s parents are building a little nest egg for Julie for when her dreams inevitably come crashing to earth in a fiery ball of failure.