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The SHOCKING Truth Behind the Pentax 645Z!

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[Editor’s Note: While covering the camera industry is usually fun, every once in a while the NCN News Team (NCNNT) uncovers a story so shocking, so horrifying, that it makes us question our humanity. But instead of burying the story with manufacturer hush money (press junkets, “evaluation” cameras, and an endless supply of 8GB flash drives), the NCNNT rises above the temptation, shines a light where the sun don’t shine, and reports the real news. I am so proud of this team and the “news” that they continue to “report.”]

You’ve heard of “factory farms”, those unseen monstrosities of modern life where they take the concept of a quaint farm, turn the “productivity” up to 11, and in the process tear every last bit of humanity and decency and quaintness from the it? Well the Pentax 645Z is made under similarly gruesome circumstances in a “factory factory”!

The NCN News Team has dug deep into the skunkworks of Ricoh Pentax and have uncovered the shocking truth behind the new 51 megapickle medium format Pentax 645Z. Speaking to an unnamed mole, we now risk our professional careers revealing revolting information that Ricoh Pentax does not want you to know. Here’s what our source had to say about the production of 645Zs:

“It’s horrible! They have Pentax K-3s kept in pens so small that they can barely move, just rows and rows of them, and stacked floor to ceiling. The conditions are atrocious—no natural light, no free-range, no fresh air. The K-3s look so sad!”

“They then take unsold Pentax Qs (they seem to have an endless supply of them) and feed them to the K-3s! Oh the horror! And they don’t just feed the K-3s one or two Qs, they feed them dozens, gorging the K-3s like a NFL lineman at a Chinese buffet until they bulk up further and further and become 645Zs! And that’s not the end of it! The young 645Zs are ravenous too—they just want more and more Qs, more and more megapickles, and will continually ululate their big mirrors until they are fed more Qs! When they are finally sated, they are placed in boxes and shipped.”

The identity of NCN's mole is being withheld for obvious reasons.

The identity of NCN’s mole is being withheld for obvious reasons.

The NCN New Team will continue to dig deeper into this truly shocking story. But right now, all of this superjournalisticexpialadocious reporting has made us hungry.

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Something must be done! We can’t just sit by and allow this to happen.

    Oh, they use Pentax Qs? Never mind, go ahead.

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