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Painfully Shy Photographer Attempts Selfie, Sprains Ankle


We are receiving reports that painfully shy photographer Sam Diego, whose preferred subjects include rusting metal, peeling paint, flower, and cats (in other words, subjects that won’t intimidate Diego or call him out to be the hack that he is afraid he is), has been injured while trying to take a selfie.

Diego, a longstanding member of many online camera forums, has up to now has relied upon a a cartoon avatar to go with his online nickname (“The Diegominator”…he’s not very good with nicknames). Something must have gotten into Diego over the weekend however, as he threw caution to the wind and attempted to take a photo of a sentient creature larger than a paper bag, himself. With camera in hand and all the courage he could muster, Diego went the only place in the apartment with a decent-sized mirror, the bathroom.

Despite the familiar environment, it was a terribly nerve-wracking experience for Diego as he imagined that the subject in the mirror (himself) was judging him, and much to his chagrin, he (himself) was. Shaking like a leaf, he tried to keep it together, telling himself over and over again, “Don’t be afraid of the man in the mirror. Don’t be afraid of the man in the mirror,” while practicing his breathing exercises.

Just as Diego was achieving something that might be recognized as a smidge of confidence, the cat walked in, ruining his concentration and causing Diego to lose his balance. Diego stepped in the cat’s water bowl, slipped, twisted his ankle, and fell to the ground in an inelegant heap. The cat, unamused at what had just happened, turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

We have not received word as to whether The Diegominator managed to press the shutter in the mayhem and if he will attempt another selfie upon leaving the infirmary.


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