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New Sigma Art Lens Can Resolve the Hair on a Gnat’s Ass


DOH labs has sent shockwaves through the Internet with their report that the new Sigma 50mm F/1.4 DG HSM Art Lens is so sharp (how sharp is it?) that it can resolve a hair on a gnat’s ass from one meter away. The results are astonishing for Sigma, a brand originally known for cheap and cheerful lenses. Previously, Sigma lenses had only been capable of resolving a hair on a rat’s ass from one meter away (who can forget the ad campaign, “Sigma, For When You Give a Rat’s Ass”?) But Sigma in recent years has been making a concerted effort to improve its imaging. The Art series of lenses is their line of top notch lenses intended to challenge the best from Canon, Nikon, Zeiss, and others.

This victory has huge repercussions for the Internet (if not for photography) as DOH lab tests are recognized throughout the Internet as the go-to resource for material to win online photography arguments with. Pundits are predicting a boom in “Gnat’s Ass Photography” (GAP) in the coming months as happy Sigma 50mm F/1.4 DG HSM Art lens owners take an inordinate amount of test photos to justify their purchase. Online retailers are reporting that people who have pre-ordered the lens have also ordered gnats, mites, and mitochondria.

The gnat, Nate, could not be reached for comment. Word on the street is that he has secured an agent and is planning a tour.


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  1. You guy are mad. You wanna kill us, by laughing.

    If you see Nate, tell him to stay away. I have the previous Sigma 50mm/1.4, and don’t want to upgrade. Beside that, I’m a Pentaxian, so I can’t upgrade even if I want.

  2. This will do wonders for my business….gnatasstoupee.com
    No linger wil your gnat feel the humiliation of GPB – gnat pattern baldness.
    So bring it on Sigma! My gnat customers are ready for you.

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