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POLICE BLOTTER: DSLRs Arrested for Disorderly Conduct and Public Drunkenness.

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Three cameras were taken into police custody this weekend after being arrested for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness.

The cameras, a Nikon D90, a Pentax K20d, and a Canon 5D had gotten together at a local sushi restaurant. The Nikon and Pentax ordered a couple of rolls each while the Canon gorged on a whole boat of sushi (full frames will be full frames, after all). It was a rare night out for the older cameras and they reveled in their unexpected freedom, talking about the good ole days when they were young and active.

Times have changed though as a new generation young guns have taken their place. Now it’s the D7100, K-3, and 5D Mark III having all of the fun, traveling, dating fast primes, and seeing the world while the old guard spends most of it’s time in a dark drawer.

As happens frequently with older cameras, conversation inevitably turned to the aches and pains of old age–batteries that won’t hold a charge, recalcitrant buttons, lost accessories, dimming displays, trouble getting their mirror up, and the assorted bumps and bruises and aches and pains–payback for the indiscretions of youth.

But halfway through the evening, something woke the trio from their infirmary talk. Fueled by the saki (and assisted no doubt by the sight of hot, young mirrorless cameras in the restaurant), the Canon was egged on by the other two to flirt with a much younger Fuji X-T1 at the sushi bar. Seeing her retro style, he opened with, “What’s a nice camera like you doing in a place like this?” The Fuji, flattered (but in a daughter-father kind of way), patted the Canon on the head and said, “That’s so sweet. My dad loved that movie!” The Canon did all he could to not blush and got razzed by the Nikon and Pentax when he got back to the table.

Undeterred, the threesome decided to do some bar hopping, and hit some of their old haunts. In one of the old places a young Leica T was holding court, lording his pedigree over anyone that would listen. You know the type, born on third base yet spending their whole life thinking that they hit a triple.* Well, after like ten minutes of hot air, the Pentax had enough and blurted out, “If you’re so great, why are you at home taking photos of brick walls and random strangers while other cameras are out there covering breaking news, war, conflict zones, and taking, you know…real photos.” The crowd burst out laughing. Except the Leica T.

The Leica T, with a couple of his posse in tow (an M9 and an X-Vario) sauntered up to the Pentax, got real close to his shutter, and said in a low, measured voice, “Hey pops, aren’t you out past your bedtime?” to which the Pentax (with the Nikon and Canon on his six) replied, “Kid, you don’t scare me. You’re just a phone with a hole in the front.” And before anyone could blink, the Pentax prism-butted the Leica T and the fight was on. The Canon took on the M9 (the M9 tried to come at the 5D from the side, but the 5D just center focused and recomposed) while the Nikon made easy work of the X-Vario, holding it back by it’s hotshoe while the X-Vario failed to reach the D90 with it’s short, stubby lens. The Leicas didn’t know what hit them; the police report indicates that bar stools were thrown and someone was thrown through a plate glass window.

The Nikon, Canon, and Pentax are in the lockup, waiting for their owners to post bail. They have, at the present moment, huge smiles on their prism humps. The Leica T was hospitalized with injuries to the ego. He was released and is currently convalescing in a Billingham bag.

 

* Thanks Barry Switzer for that one.

4 COMMENTS

  1. A Nikon, a Pentax, and a Canon walked into a bar….I know I’ve heard that one somewhere before!

  2. “trouble getting their mirror up”

    Hey! It does not mean the camera does not want to take a picture; nor does it mean that the camera does not consider the subject attractive……

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