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Amateur Helicopter Plane Photographer Attacked!

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An amateur helicopter plane photographer was attacked in Connecticut recently by a woman upset that the helicopter plane was taking photos of her. While the Internet has regurgitated the photographer’s point of view, NCN digs deeper. Here, in an exclusive interview, we speak with Andrea Mears, the upset woman.

New Camera News: Welcome to the New Camera News World Headquarters.

Andrea Mears: Thank you. This place is a little small to be a “World Headquarters.” Actually, it looks more like a Starbucks.

NCN: Ummm….Anyways, the Internet has seen the other side of the helicopter plane story. In the interest of fairness, we’d like to hear yours.

AM: It’s about time! I mean, you’re no Rachel Madow. You’re not even Anderson Cooper, but I gotta start at the bottom, I guess.

NCN: Thank you, I think…

AM: First of all, the helicopter plane was too high. How are you supposed to see the details and patterns in my cool orange dress from that height? It’s a nice dress, right?

NCN: Ummm, we don’t think it’s appropriate at this moment to discuss your dress. Can we continue.

AM: {silence, along with an uncomfortably long stare}

NCN: {tugging nervously at collar} You were saying….

AM: Yes, first the helicopter plane was too high, and B, the helicopter plane was totally on my bad side! I told the guy to move the helicopter plane to my good side but he wouldn’t listen. He continued to fly the helicopter plane at a great height and wherever he damn well pleased, without taking my creative direction and dress into account.

NCN: Were you on a public beach when the incident occurred?

AM: Yes, but what does that matter?

NCN: Have you heard of the term ‘Reasonable Expectation of Privacy?’

AM: Oh, REP? You’ve got the acronym wrong. It stands for ‘Reasonable Expectation of Publicity.’ And that’s all I’m asking for–for my fifteen minutes to be shot well, not by some hack with a helicopter plane.

NCN: So, if I hear you correctly, what you are saying is that you’re not upset that the photographer took photos of you, but rather the fact that he took poor photos of you?

AM: Exactly. How am I supposed to become a celebrity if the Internet is filled with bad photos of me?

NCN: Do something so off the wall and outrageous that people will have to pay attention to you?

AM: Exactly again! You’re smarter than you look. Not as smart as Anderson Cooper, but it’s a start.

NCN: Ummm..thanks. And you do realize that the camera on the helicopter plane likely had a wide angle lens. So wide, in fact, that you’re likely just a small orange speck in the video.

AM: WHAT!

NCN: Yeah, those helicopter planes use wide angle lenses to get a good view of the scenery. It’s not really intended to capture images of individuals.

AM: That’s not what I saw on the news. They showed helicopter planes killing the bad guys.

NCN: Those are military drones. They are different.

AM: It doesn’t matter. I need my fame. And if this nimrod isn’t going to take good photos of me, I’ll just ask my cousin. He’s got a DSLR that takes good photos.

NCN: Is your cousin a photographer?

AM: No, but he’s got a nice camera. It takes nice pictures. He’s talked about becoming a pro.

NCN: OK then. Is there anything else that you want to say to the NCN audience.

AM: I just want the Internet to know that I don’t hate photographers. Like I said, my cousin has a nice camera, so that proves it. And I want you to say that I have a nice dress.

NCN: I’m sorry, but that’s all the time we have for…..owww!!! What are you doing?!!! Stop!!!!!

AM: IT’S A NICE DRESS, RIGHT?!

NCN: OK! OK! It’s a nice dress! Now please get off of me!

AM: What are you gonna do? Call the cops? I already called them three times.

NCN: Ouch! Stop!!!

 

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