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Nikon Confesses, “We Have No Idea What We’re Doing!”

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In an exclusive interview, industry giant Nikon has confessed that they have no idea what they are doing. “We’ve been shadowing Canon all these years that we’ve just kind of been on auto-pilot.” says Nikon. “Whenever Canon came out with a new camera, we’d just do something similar and put our logo on it. You know, ‘You say poh-tay-toh, I say poh-tah-toh, let’s call the whole thing off!’”

When asked about new trends in imaging, Nikon shrugged and said, “Heck if we know. All we do is try to follow trends, not lead them. We heard that Olympus and toaster oven maker Panasonic was doing this new thing called “mirrorless,” so we thought that we’d try that. A couple of years later we came to the market with the 1 series. And then we heard that Fujifilm was making retro looking cameras so we waited a couple of years and then made the Df. Besides that, though, we are plum out of ideas.”

The rapid decline of the point-and-shoot business has hurt Nikon as much as the other manufacturers, so we asked Nikon if they would retreat to DSLRs or try to continue to innovate.

“Innovate? Are you in the right interview? Did you know that we only have four people in product development? One person for pro DSLRs, one for consumer DSLRs, one for point-and-shoots, and one for the 1 series. One of the reasons why the D300 has not been updated is that our product development person for that line went on maternity leave and hasn’t come back.”

“We’ve seen the enormous success that GoPro’s had, so we asked our product development team to come up with something similar. They came back with a D4 mounted on a helmet, which was kind of neat, but our test subjects complained of neck pains and migraines so it’s back to the drawing board with that one. I guess we’ll just see what Sony does next and try to copy that and put a Nikon logo on it.”

When asked about whether or not they copy Pentax, Nikon said, “Who? That copier company?”

13 COMMENTS

  1. I thought Nikon had half a person for their 1 division and half a person for their point and shoot division. They recruited from those families that had 2 1/2 children.

  2. This is funny, and I liked the names you made up.

    “Canon’ and ‘Pentax’ were especially funny. Sony only so-so, but only because I didn’t like either him or Cher.

  3. Love the last line, but it seems like there should have been a kicker like “Oh, you mean that copier company?”

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