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SHOCKER! Aliens Eat Pentax Full Frame Cameras!

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In news that is sure to rock the camera world, Pentax claims that just as they were ready to announce a whole new line of full frame cameras and lenses, aliens swooped in from outer space and ate them all!

Pentax officials say that late working staff and security personnel saw a series of blinking lights in the sky, and then they got closer and closer as a sound akin to a burping frog got louder and louder. Suddenly, they saw disc-shaped space ships in hovering over their building and then tall, lanky aliens with oversized heads descended. A security guard tried to stop them, but one of the aliens raised an elongated hand and a stream of blue energy rays came out of the alien hand and wrapped the security guard in a blue sphere of energy. Before they knew what hit them, all of the staff was incapacitated in these blue spheres of energy. And the aliens then proceeded to eat the full frame cameras!

At a press conference that had been planned for the launch of the new full-frame camera line, Pentax said, “Yes, we were going to announce the full-frame camera line today at this press conference, but last night the aliens came and ate all of the cameras! We are surprised as everyone else! We didn’t have just one full-frame camera planned, but a whole family of full-frame cameras, from entry-level to pro. Not only that, but we had a full line of full-frame prime and zoom lenses ready as well. But now…they are gone. Yes, the aliens took them and ate them. That’s it. Aliens.”

When asked if anything was left behind, Pentax responded, “Nope, nothing. Not only did they eat all of the cameras, but they went to our factories in the Philippines where we made the cameras and ate all of the cameras in the warehouse and also ate the tooling used to make the cameras!” Surely, we thought, that Pentax still had the design and production plans for the line of cameras? “Nope,” said Pentax, “our IT department is still looking, but it appears that anything related to our full-frame product have been erased from the network. No engineering designs, no CAD drawing, no renderings, no spreadsheets, no emails….nothing! We don’t how it happened!”

NCN asked if Pentax could at least describe the full-frame cameras that they had planned to release. Pentax responded, “We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you. Suffice to say, the cameras were better than anything else out there in the market at less than half the price! But the aliens ruined everything. Yes, those hungry, full-frame eating aliens!”

Undeterred, Pentax says they are planning on starting all over again to design a whole new line of full frame cameras. “We know how long some Pentaxicans have been waiting for a full-frame Pentax, so we will try our hardest to meet their requests. But we can’t guarantee that the aliens won’t come back, or maybe it’s a blobby thing this time that eats all of the cameras, or giant rabbits, or something from a black lagoon, or a fifty foot woman. You never know. But we will keep on trying!”

Pentax asks that if you see any of these creatures (like the one shown below) to please ask them not to eat Pentax’s cameras anymore. Oddly, none of the APS-C, medium format, or smaller censored cameras were touched.

8 COMMENTS

  1. We believe you! We had similar experience (blinking lights, loud burping etc.) when we were filming “Pentax does Dallas!!!”

  2. I knew there had to be a reason why Pentax did not come out with a FF. Good thing I can always count on NCN for the straight poop

  3. I’m betting on the 50 foot woman next time. “Must…destroy…cameras…before…husband…buys one….!”

  4. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know it: PLASTIC is FANTASTIC!!! The -over- 10 years old ” Pentax- Samsung Ricoh “FULL FRAME LIE” gets from Pentax and/or Ricoh (=> That is the company who cannot make any -working- cameras, laser printers scanners, etc.) gets applause and standing ovations by whole pack of “Professional Photo Journalists” over a 3d-printed “LUMP of Plastic”. Obviously, these IDIOTs cannot tell the difference between it and a real camera! But fear not: They will going to make it “work” by stick a VIBRATOR in: BBBBzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………………………………………! The only real question is: What will all those poor devils do who bought -like me- expensive Pentax- Ricoh- Samsung “D-Xenon Lenses” etc. for a fortune? Can I SUE them in court together with tens of tousands of betrayed Photo enthusiasts? THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO KNOW !!! Alex

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