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LEAKED! Nikon Promises Photokina Surprise


New Camera News has obtained a copy of a highly confidential internal document from Nikon headquarters that spills the beans about their Photokina product launch…

“There is a lot of uncertainty in the camera industry these days; that we know for sure. We at Nikon are not taking the seismic shifts in the industry lying down. We have studied the market with lots of really expensive consultants and have identified a key trait for success–product line diversification. Diversification helps companies like Samsung leverage ideas and intellectual property from one business unit to the next. Diversification helps Sony come out with more and more and more cameras. To put it simply, product diversification works, and Nikon will be premiering our new product diversification initiative at Photokina, an industry event so large that they can only fit it in on even-numbered years.

At Photokina and the weeks to follow we will be aggressively pushing Nikon 2, a line of toaster ovens that are nothing less than the re-invention of the toaster oven. The product line will start with three models, the 2c for canapes and Swedish meatball (just one at a time), the 2a for standard size pieces of bread, bagels, a single slice of pie, and a small grouping of Swedish meatballs, and finally the 2b full loaf model that will toast an entire loaf of bread in three minutes, perfect for professional kitchens.


As with all Nikon products, the Nikon 2 line will feature superior toast metering and a host of Nikon 2 accessories, from handy travel bags to special Ashton Kutcher adapters that will imprint toast with an image of our esteemed CEO.

If the new Nikon 2 system toaster oven is successful, Nikon will introduce the Nikon 3 system of electric shavers and Nikon 4 system of noise canceling headphones.

Nikon is committed to jumping on the latest business management trends in order to ensure that we don’t become the next Pentax.”



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  1. I heard that on the full-loaf toaster that the left end of the bread does not get as toasted as the right. Any truth to that?

    • Didn’t notice that because I sent mine back for oil spots inside the front window. They said the shutter was the problem, so now I have somebody else close it.

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