Home Industry

Industry Leaders Concerned About Sigma’s Mental Health

839

The photography business can be a cutthroat game, with camera makers constantly seeking a competitive edge against their rivals. But there is camaraderie in the scrum, a sort of “we’re all in this together” attitude that is not always seen, but rises to the fore when someone is truly, deeply in need. And now, the community is coming together because one of their own, Sigma, is exhibiting some truly bizarre behavior.

Following the release of the DP1 Quattro and optional viewfinder, industry leaders think that it may be time for an intervention.

“It’s been a long time coming,” said Nikon. “Sigma’s always been a good sidekick. You know the kind, just happy to be around. Not the life of the party, but always reliable. And then, a couple of years ago, Sigma started hanging out with a new crowd and wasn’t always around. When he did come to our parties, he’d be talking about his new friend, Foveon. At first we thought, ‘Oh, that’s nice.’ but then after a while, Sigma started getting all weird, with a crazy look in his eye. And now this, the DP1 Quattro. If we don’t do something soon, the next time we’ll be talking about Sigma will be at his funeral.”

Canon adds, “Many of us first raised our eyebrows when Sigma started hanging around with that new kid, Foveon. I can’t put my finger on it, but there was something not right about him. You know how you get a bad vibe from someone that can’t look at you straight. Foveon wasn’t like that. In fact, he was the exact opposite. He’d just stare and stare at you as if he was trying to stare right into your soul. It was completely unnerving.”

“The thing that was confusing,” says Pentax, “was the fact that on nine days out of ten Sigma was perfectly fine, good even, pumping a prodigious amount of solid, respectable lenses. Some even said that Sigma was stepping up their game, stretching their wings so to speak, with a lineup of Art lenses that were fast and desirable. And then that one day out of ten would happen, when Sigma would show up and everyone one would be like, “WTF is going on with Sigma today? He’s wearing these weird clothes and going on and on about his best buddy Foveon. I suspect that Sigma is on drugs and Foveon is his dealer.”

The only one to come to Sigma’s defense was Fuji, “Come on, don’t single Sigma out just because he’s different. Yeah, he goes on a bender once in a while, but who hasn’t? Yeah, the Quattro’s kind of funky, but Pentax shouldn’t throw stones without first looking in the mirror. Yes, Q, I’m looking right at you. Besides, if we’re going to help anyone, it ought to be Hasselblad. Meth kills.”

Nikon, Canon, Pentax, and other were planning to stage an intervention at Photokina. But since Photokina 2014 has been cancelled, they’re going to have to find another time when they’re all together.

 

2 COMMENTS

Complaint Form