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15.2 Pixel Peepers Injured Following Announcement of Canon 5Ds


15.2 pixel peepers are being treated for minor injuries including migraines, pains in the neck and sciatic nerve, and elevated heart rate/blood pressure following the release of the Canon 5Ds. Experts believe that the peepers injured themselves while viewing RAW 100% crops of swatches of red fabric, bottles of liquor, and the eyelashes of an oddly seductive female mannequin. Officials have issued a warning stating that pixel peepers should take great care when handling the RAW files of the 5Ds and suggest that peepers wear gloves, protective goggles, and “a Snuggie to cushion a possible fall from a chair and facilitate transfer to a gurney.”

The last time health officials saw an influx of pixel peeper admissions was after the release of the Nokia Lumia 1020.


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