Fiscal conservatives around the country are outraged at the release of the latest NASA video, a five year time lapse of the Sun. The video, featuring stunning footage of the surface of the sun, is being universally criticized. “Five years?! Really?” says Senator Horntooter, in a hastily called press conference at the Capital. “This has cost the American taxpayer tens of millions of dollars for four minutes of footage. This is an outrage! If this had been done by private industry they could have done it for a tenth of the cost and time!” Senator Backpocket added, “My nephew has one of those GoPro cameras. He could have done this for free. Instead, we’re using tax dollars that could be spent on the military or the helping out Wall Street and instead squandering it on high falluten’ ambitions like inspiring humanity, instilling a sense of wonder, awe, and respect of the natural world to today’s youth, and other useless things that don’t increase shareholder value one cotton pickin’ cent. Besides, didn’t anyone tell NASA that photography is dead?”
Senators Horntooter and Backpocket are calling for a special sub-comittee meeting to radically defund NASA and replace “these obscenely expensive and useless videos” with GoPro footage from Red Bull.