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SHOCKING! Nikon, Canon to End Camera Development!

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In a rare joint statement, industry giants Canon and Nikon have announced that both companies will cease all camera development, effective immediately. At a hastily arranged press conference both Nikon and Canon stressed that they are not getting out of the camera business per se, but rather will continue with their existing product lines for the foreseeable future “and quite possibly forever.”

When asked why the two companies were making such a radical decision, Canon said, “Hey listen, our current camera lineup is good enough. As a matter of fact, internal research has shown that our cameras are better and more capable than 99% of the people that own them. With data like this, the only logical thing to do is to stop improving our cameras until our owners become better photographers.”

“That’s so true!” Nikon interjected. “For years we have peddled this notion that the only thing keeping you from becoming a ‘professional’ photographer was access to the latest and greatest gear. ‘Buy this new camera!’, ‘Buy this new lens!’ we’d say in our advertising, ‘and you’ll take better photos immediately!’ Great food photos. Great puppy photos. Great photos of a perky young Japanese lady near a cherry blossom or by a water fountain or something quintessentially Japanese. But deep down inside we knew that you were just going to be the same crappy photographer you’ve always been but with more megapickles.” After reflecting for a moment, Nikon added, “It feels so good to say this. To finally get this off our prism.”

 

“Right!” added Canon. “I’m so glad that we are taking this moment to say, ‘Hey owners of Canon and Nikon cameras, you’re most likely a crappy photographer so we are just going to wait for you to stop talking about that damn rule of thirds, take a real photography class, and get a clue before we make better stuff. Otherwise we’re just wasting our time.’”

“You feel good?” Nikon asked Canon.

“Wow. Better than I’ve felt in decades.” Canon replied.

“You wanna go get a beer?”

“Sure.”

 

 

33 COMMENTS

  1. “In a rare joint statement” should be changed to read “In a statement after smoking a joint.”

  2. “But deep down inside we knew that you were just going to be the same crappy photographer you’ve always been but with more megapickles.”

    Ouch. An inconvenient truth.

  3. Lovely! No more complainig about bad Canon sensors or Nikon Coolpix A getting upgrade! Let’s all get some beer and have some fun!

    • Shhhh Sue, my identity is a closely guarded secret. Like Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, and the Easter Bunny!

  4. Sony confirmed their next ff camera will compress 84 megapixel raw files down to what they call ‘a single relevant pixel’. Ps, don’t compare yourself to kennotwell.com. His info lost its weight since his Canon sponsorship.

  5. Maybe we will hear about a CANIKON NEXT, who knows what’s in the dark room of the brilliant minds.

  6. but what they fail to understand is the crappy pics I would take with my D5 (if I had one), would be a much better class of crappy pic than the ones I take with my D3!!.

  7. hope that the price of the cameras will now finally decrease due to no researchers are needed any more no R&D department and and and, o but wait they need to by beer………. just another crappy photographer

  8. I guess I’m a one percenter………. I have taken every camera or for that matter every device I’ve ever owned to the limits of its capabilities.

  9. I’ve never met a Professional Photographer that wasn’t best friends with software like Photoshop.
    I’m pretty certain that 99.99% of all professional photos are post processed with some type of imaging software. Watch for Canon and Nikon to make a pivot and start producing high end post process photo imaging software. Off with hardware’s head because software can fix it!

  10. Nikon and Canon offered good advice. I not against advancements, but to be honest, my cameras almost never collected dust before another new camera “popped up”. They were advancing, as stated, far beyond the average “snap shooter”.

  11. “And, secondly, we’re tired of developing high resolution cameras where the owners take crappy snaps, JPEG them, and simply post them on Facebook. Stop it.”

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